I hear the sirens call from far beyond the waves.
I hear the banshees cry for the future of my fate.
A dreamer wanting to know the meaning of life.
A seeker of organizing the disorder of my mind.
Yet as the sea grows ever closer,
To the future I am still blind.
Is this the beginning of the end?
I dip my fingers into an endless watery abyss.
Listening to a rhythm of answers I cannot resist.
Will this breeze of obsession become the wind?
I see it glimmering in shimmering azure,
The key of meaning at the ocean’s floor.
If I can reach it, will I be free?
If I retrieve it, will I be redeemed?
I feel a pulse within me like the echo of a resonating tone.
It is the desire for understanding all that can be known.
I fall into the ocean, majestic and cold,
Opening my eyes to a world breathtaking and bold.
Let me dive.
Let me dive beyond reason and design,
To a depth where I can find the reasons I’m alive.
I swim deeper through shades of rippling blue.
My fingers reach toward the answer in silvery hue.
Just a bit closer,
Just a little farther.
Yet the surface is growing more distant,
The darkness rising in shadowed persistence.
How long before the pressure proves too strong a resistance?
My lungs burn with pain-induced fire.
My eyes blur in the haze of murky water.
But I cannot escape from this intoxicating desire.
I have to know…
I must grab hold…
And yet,
There is no key.
There is no ocean floor.
Watery mirage, an illusion of foolish thought.
Refraction of light, my ambition pulling me too far.
I cannot breathe.
I am suspended in the belief of agonizing hope.
Lost in the drifting of my attempt for control.
I am sinking.
Into the waves of questioning and answering, I am drowning.
In the face of introspective thought and feeling, I am dying.
This is the end of a beginning that never was.
How have I lost something I could never have found?
As the air leaves my chest,
I whisper with my one last breath
“In depth, I drown.”
© Faith Fawks
Photo by: M.E.F